charley star photo

ECO-FRIENDLY PENCILS: THEY'RE HERE!

i just got in my order of smencils.  smencils are eco-friendly, scented pencils made from 100% recylced newspapers.    

some smencil facts:

• An average sized cedar tree will make about 172,000 wood pencils.
• 172,000 Smencils can be made from 430 newspapers.
• Recycling a single run of the Sunday New York Times saves about 75,000 trees.
• The average tree can filter about 60 pounds of air pollution per year.
• If everyone in the US recycled just 10% of their newspapers, we would save about 25 million trees each year.

i love 'em, kids love 'em too.  they sharpen and write like regular pencils, but smell way-better and save trees too!   just one simple way to go green...

get yours at my etsy.

happy sunday

STYLISH, FAMILY-FRIENDLY TRAVEL SPOT

it was hubby's bday this week, and since he's been working so hard here for the last few months, i wanted to give him a little R+R.  so off we went.  first stop, here, where i surprised nahch with a flight lesson.  you can check out pics here.

next stop, the viceroy in palm springs.  perfect lil boutique hotel with great design, great restaurant, Citron, and best of all:  a family pool that you can go skinny dipping in!  (well, we did anyway. hee hee).  it was the perfect blend of liveliness and seclusion (summer is their off-season).  it's far from a dawdy family hotel, and yet they were very accomodating to kids.   in addition to 2 other adult pools, they have a 3rd Kids or Family pool... presumably so the adults don't get skeeved out by the inevitable, um, kid-pee... 

Our first night there, after an amazing dinner, we took a stroll through the grounds and couldn't resist a spur-of-the-moment dip in the inviting family pool.  it was great watching satine take her first swim! she loved it.

Skinny dipping in the family pool after dinner

the sky was a magical purple-blue.  i could've stared at it for hours.

next day: view of San Jacinto mountains from the poolside bed

playing with Dad

Satine crashed on the bed after a hard day at the pool

check satine in the pool video: Download nahcheys_bday_palm_springs_20070724_069.AVI

you can check out the rest of the pics here at flicker, and more videos here. i would definitely recommend it for any couple with a wee one that also enjoys family time amidst good food, style + design.  all in all, its a semi-glamourous family vacation....  and with its reduced room rates during summer, it can be an affordable getaway.

happy summer!

Ov-AP UPDATE

just to give you an update:  the yoga isn't working.  after a week of neck/back/shoulder pain, i succumbed and went to the quack-o-practor today. check out my souvenirs below.  having a baby is wonderful, but good for the body, it ain't.

 
apparently, the needed "C-curve" is no where to be found in my neck.

that's my stiff neck and curved spine.  apparently that's a $180, three-times-a-week-big problem-o....  i left with instructions to  avoid picking anything up (you hear that satine?) and to come back with my checkbook on saturday in fact, i might as well clear up my sched for the next few months cuz this one "could take a while to heal."  i've got to "let the body do it's thing."  well, um, if i was going to just let my body do its thing, what do i need to pay you for? i wondered. but with the shooting pain everytime i inched my head up down or left, i made the follow up appointment, and donned my beautiful new black neck brace.  when i got home, satine kept laughing and staring at it, oblivious as to her contribution in this lovely new fashion statement...

tomorrow, i'll post pics from our little jaunt down to palm springs... 

xxo 

BALANCING RESPECT FOR BABY WITH STRANGERS' BABYJOY

since having a baby, i have been amazed by the complete lack of regard people have when it comes to respecting babies and their personal space.  Even as a new mom, I was aware of respecting Satine as her own person, of honoring her needs, her personal space, and her need for acclimation to people and places.  And even though i was still learning how to negotiate these situations without seeming rude, without 'hoarding' satine, by trying to find that balance of socializing her and teaching her that it was ok to trust other people, without scaring her by expecting her to acclimate faster than her own pace allows... well, i thought i was doing pretty well.  until 3 instances at a party taught me otherwise.   

Now, i understand that babies--rightfully so-- elicit a "babyjoy" and glee within people that erodes normal boundaries that adults have with each other.  But sometimes, people just take this too far:

i was at this party when a friend of mine asked to hold my baby.  After a few moments of letting satine "warm up" to her, I gingerly passed satine over into her loving arms.  Seeing this, another woman (a stranger to me) exclaims, "Ooooh!  Can i be next?! You passing her around the room?!?" 

Uh... NO. My daughter is not a hot potato.

Or, the time when a guy walks up to me and my baby (who i was holding in my arms, but even that didn't deter him) and before i knew it, he INSERTS his finger into my baby's mouth!!  Apparently he thought it was OK because "he had a baby too" and "that's what his baby does-- sucks his fingers."  I was appalled. 

Or, the time when a guy (also a stranger) comes over to chat me and satine up, and immediately gestures to hold her.  Like he just expects me to plunk my little lovebug into his strange arms.  No. That ain't the way this ship sails. Trying not to be rude i say, "Why don't we just just talk here a while so she can get used to you." Another minute or so, he gestures again into mine and satine's face with his outstrethced hands, which i again manage to deflect.  But after the third "Can i hold her now?" (in under 5 minutes), i caved. Not wanting to be rude or crush his babyjoy, i passed satine into his arms.  IMMEDIATELY, she starts to cry and looks back at me as if i have just betrayed her sense of comfort and security.  Her face seemed to ask "Why are you doing this to me mommy?!  I don't know this guy!  I wouldn't do this to you!"  I instantly knew i'd failed the test.  And there's the guy, holding crying satine, and instead of recognizing the obvious -- that people-- INCLUDING BABIES--need time to warm up to each other, he criticizes satine for not being "social" and ponders why in the world she would be crying since babies "usually like him."  Well, maybe Satine would too, if she'd had 5 minutes to warm up to you, get comfortable with you. i mean, c'mon. would YOU like it if you were expected to walk into a party of complete strangers, go up to each of them and wrap your arms and legs around them and have them carry you? Didn't think so.

Now, I do not mean to imply that this was anyone's fault but my own. Or that these people weren't full of the best intentions and that gleeful 'babyjoy' that seems to erode normal (i.e., 'adult') modes of social behavior. But I am her mother.  I am her protector. her comfort, her security.  It is my job to watch her face, read her body language, her expressions, and let her tell me when it is ok to procede, when its ok to let her venture outside the security of my arms to someone else.  But then, before i could blink, that rogue thumb was in my daughter's mouth!  or i'd ventured too early, or had been more concerned about seeming rude than i was about my daughter's comfort. Well, this was the last time i would put some complete stranger's embarrasment before my daughter's sense of well-being.

so to all the parents and expectant parents, to all the baby lovers, to all the experienced and inexperienced baby people:  just do unto babies as you would have done unto yourself.  Use common sense social ettiquette.  Yes, babies are more quick to warm up to people, and depending on their age, will be more willing than others to rest in a stranger's arms, but RESPECT THEIR TIMING.  Watch them. Listen to them.  Even though they can't talk, they're still telling you something.  It's just like a first kiss between adults:  you watch, you read body language, and you just know when to gently navigate your lips onto another's.  You don't just INVADE their personal space-- let them warm up to you. introduce yourself.  approach gently.  don't get up in their face without them knowing you.  and never, ever, ever stick your fingers in someone else's baby's mouth!  Babies are not things to be passed around, they are little people who, like you and me, need to have their needs, their space, and their timing respected and honored.... and then the babyjoy can flow. :)

#1 REASON WHY DADS SHOULDN'T DRESS BABIES

 
Satine as an old man.

i asked Hubs to go dress satine, and the two of them disappeared into the bedroom.  What re-emerged was the dorkiest, oldest-man version of my daughter i'd ever seen.  :) 
Gotta love it....

Hubby's defense: 'i wasn't dressing her. i was just throwing a pair of pants on because her legs were cold and i pulled them up high because they were too long."

SUFFERING FROM "OV-AP"

8 months into this motherhood thing, and i'm beginning to wonder if my body can withstand the planned Baby #2 and possibly #3.  The whole "bend at the knees" when you pick up things (like baby) flies out the window in the heat of the never-ending moment. Strange pains are popping up in formerly pain-proof regions of my body:  wrist, groin, pinky toe, along with the more expected neck, back, shoulder pain.  but i am glad to know: i'm not getting old, i'm just suffering from over-attachment parenting! i am borrowing this diagnosis from my

Baby Charlotte, Me, Allison

friend Allison's husband, whose diagnosed her with "over-attachment parenting-itis" (Ov-AP) when baby-induced neck pains sent her to the chiropractor.  Me? well i'm off to yoga, which for me is the perfect regenerative form of exercise, and thanks to their great mommy-n-me classes, i can take little satie with me. Let's hope it keeps working. 

toilet talk

now that satine is crawling (Download scooch_crawling_20070621_001.AVI ) and pulling herself up to standing, each day is even more of a discovery -- for her, exploring her world, and for me as i discover the world through her eyes....
though i have to say i've never been so fascinated by a toilet! :)
(Download satine_plays_in_toilet_20070702_001.AVI )

MORNING MOMENTS

Do you think i know what I'm doing?
That for one breath or half-breath I belong to myself?
As much as a pen know what it's writing,
or the ball can guess where its going next.
                         
                                                          -- Rumi

the act of living is an act of faith. we do not know, when we are born, when we arrogantly declare our teenage plans to the world, when we venture into love, where we will end up. We do not know — I did not know — that unfolding is better than conquering, that fulfillment would come in my daughter's laughter or smell of the forest; that through my husband's warm mouth i would drop into the universe; that my greatest adventures would come from living deeply.

what is it, that i now know, that i will look back upon and find false? what can i teach my child when truth is so malleable?  when youth is for absolutes, but maturity, worlds of gray?  i think about the journey of my life, and wonder about satine's.  what are the lessons-- the heart lessons, not the 'keep away from hot stoves' lessons-- that she will need to learn? how can i guide her with the wisdom of my experience, without denying her her own?

these are the things, this morning, flashing through my mind as i sip coffee, cool breeze blowing, and satine, pulling herself up to standing, testing her wobbly, chubby legs, looks at me and screams with excitement, "Ehh!" she wants to make sure I am watching.  and though it cannot be, though there are places she can only journey alone, i lean down to guide her hand and want to say to her, "Always, my love.  Always."

chompers

as you can see, satine's chompers are in. and as you can see below, she has no problems using them:


Going in for the kill

Killing


Mission Accomplished

And here she is afterwards, quite pleased with herself.  don't know if you can see it in the pictures, but there is a slobbery mark on my leg, imprinted with her teeth marks.  nice one!

california girl

happy summer!

i know it's been here, officially, for a few weeks now. but ever since i got out of school like um, umpteen years ago, and since i live in the uni-climate city of los angeles, it's hard to denote the passing of seasons. but whenever july 4th hits, i know its summer. time for the beach.

to beat the crowds, we headed out a day early, on the 3rd, to enjoy a little R&R under the sun... plus we were dying to put satine in her little bathing suit and see how she'd take to the ocean.  we headed south to huntington beach, and found this perfect little grassy spot just steps from the car -- perfect for families bringing the whole kitchen sink like we do-- and a skip from the ocean.  the grassy plot was perfect for sand-free lounging, and keeps the li'l crawly-pauly from getting sand in every crack and crevice.  especially key for us now that satine's favorite new food is: yep, you guessed it. sand.

satine definitely loves the beach, loves being outside.  a true cali girl.... though i think she was a little wary of the ocean. pops made sure she had a good time, dipping her little feet in the waves. you can see more pics on flickr, but check out this pic of the li'l stuffed marshmellow:



on the 4th, we had the pleasure of seeing how the "other half" lives-- at my friend jeff's phat new pad up in the hills of los feliz. good views, good food, good company....

xxo

breathing into the smallness

"...BE THE FIERY CENTER..."
              -stone carving, Santa Monica Beach

99.9% of the time, life is great.  a big beautiful lovefest.
This post is about the other .1 percent.

**

so for two days, i'd been walking around with something bubbling up inside me.  something icky and negative. a loose, ambiguous feeling i couldn't label or define, nor did i want to.  in fact, i'd been trying to distract myself so i wouldn't have to feel it at all. whatever it was, it was getting to me.  but the point is not what the problem was, the point is, how do to deal with it. how do i deal with it? those times when i feel i'm not accomplished enough, not successful enough, whatever the demon may be, it starts as a .1 percent rumbling, till it boils and bubbles into what i call 'the 5 percent mark'-- the imaginary measurement which demands me to stop and deal with it.

like i said, most days are great. i love my life. but every now and then, some small bit of frustration lies foundation in my heart, builds upon itself until it finally demands attention.  The frustration, i think, mainly, derives from my time not being my own anymore, which results in the inability to complete tasks at will due to the ever-constant needs of your baby.  so even though now i may be living a "slower" pace of life, i still have goals i need to complete ("complete being the key word-- most tasks lie half-finished around my house) during the day to give me a sense of accomplishment.  (No matter that some days those goals are straight from a 1950's housewife's checklist -- do laundry, iron, wash floors; some days the goals are more to my liking -- design press kit for new client, finish art piece, write business plan, take satine to park).

so this, coupled with sleep exhaustion, and some talented friends/family i have around me who are full-force pursuing and succeeding in their careers, (and here i am, leaving mine -- at least for now) left me... well, a little downtrodden that i was not accomplishing enough.  "Well at least I'm a mother, I'm good at that!"  But this was a day when i wasn't even feeling up to par in that department.  so yeah, i had a day or two where i felt the pain of feeling truely small. unaccomplished. and even though most days i am quite happy with myself and my life and have enjoyed slowing down and sinking a bit deeper into the process of living... this day, the old negative voice was haunting me.  Probably it's first visit since i became a mom...

but the point is not WHY i was bummed out, the point is... how do i breathe into the pain (of any type/cause), open to it, and find the larger space underneath?, rather than holding it so close (hoping no one will find out,) that it suffocates me, constricts me...

so with great courage (because for me, my ego doesn't like to admit when i feel 'less than', and i am frightened to admit to others my shortcomings) i took a breath and found myself sharing these thoughts with a friend... and miraculously, i found that there was a lot less burden to share... that the breathing into the center of it, coming from there, was my way though.

and then, a few days later, i was walking with my friend Dan (love you Dan) in Santa Monica.  I looked over, and carved onto the top of a stone wall was the engraving:
                                                                     
                                "...BE THE FIERY CENTER..."

Perhaps that is what it said, perhaps that is just how I remember it.  (it's a long quote and i didnt' read it's entirety-- i just took this extraction from it.)  It struck me.  If we can connect to our deep centers, that fiery heart of things, live from there, without masks and pretensions... if we can breathe into the smallness... we just may find our way through, find our connection to the boundless, fiery center that connects us to the greater Whole.