charley star photo

16/52: HAPPY

Oh, Keats.
You turned ONE this week!
Bday pics to come, but i'll share these for now.  He's pretty happy don't ya think? :)

 

Sweet Navia

Sweet Satine.

xxo

 

"a portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013"

FAMILY PORTRAITS: HALLWAY CAMPING + 14/52

we have three big hallways in our house. they get a lot of play.

as a kid, i remember shutting all the doors to make the hallway pitch black, and playing "space" or "rocket ship" or whatever else me and my sis's little imaginations could dream up.

so happy to see my three littles now doing the same. i found them like this one day, to my surprise, cuddled up in the hallway. they pleaded for me to shut the door 'cause i was "letting the light in!"  (that thing in satine's hand is a penguin flashlight.) i had to run get my camera before i ruined the moment for them.

i strive to get the kids (ahem, myself) out of the house most days to play and discover, but it's always so nice to have a relaxing day at home, and give them space to unfold into the day...

they usually create far better playtimes for themselves than i could ever dream up.

simple really. 

for hallways camping all they needed were

sleeping bags (or blankets) and some pillows
flashlight
balloon
books
and a daydream....

i mean, just look at navia, above, contemplating the whole world.... 

 

xxo

FAMILY PORTRAITS: 13/52

tini + navi:  mesmerized

my two girls...  

a rare moment of stillness and captivation....  

we save screen time for the weekends, and as you sat and watched our go-to-family-fave in the late-afternoon glow, i sat on the floor and watched you...   also mesmerized.

mr. keats in joyful exuberation

you simply cannot get enough of being thrown into the air.  

this week you are loving being thrown, your cow, and most of all, your toothbrush.

also, keats took his first 2 steps this week! not long before i'll be chasing you all over creation. oh wait, i'm already doing that. :)

ONLY IN LOVE ARE WE OUR MOST NOBLE

"...With full heart and all that I am... 

      I make these vows and declarations to you:

 that my heart and soul are bonded to yours,

            and will be forever more.... "

 

thank you to my love, my dear Husband,  for these last eight magnificent years. for the crazy, full path;  
the deep, full heart;  the highs, the lows, the beautiful children, the laughter, the good times, the strength, the loyalty,
the hardwork, the wholeness...     just so much... just so, so, much....  

 

"For more clearly than anything I have ever known, I know this:

 THAT YOU ARE MY PATH.  You  are my heart.

You are my home."

 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABE.  
THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THE LUCKIEST LADY ALIVE.

 

A QUIET MORNING

FAMILY PORTRAITS / THE 52 PROJECT

 

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Satine in Contemplation

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Keats in color (version of this)

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last year i was inpsired by deb to take more photographs of my own family.  i was so busy with client work and juggling motherhood/pregnancy/newborns the past couple of years, that i haven't documented my own family as much as I'd like, or if i did, the photos are buried in my computer somewhere.

i've also enjoyed looking at others' 365 Project seen all over the web.  I've seen the 52 Project around the web, and was inspired to do my own when i saw my friend elizabeth's 52 project.  i've been wanting to do something similar for so long, but didn't think i could commit to that type of daily/weekly/monthly ritual.  i mean, look. here i am 10 weeks late, er, in, and just now getting it together.  

but perfectionism is for the birds. right?! right! a domestic-mentor-someone inspired me to adopt this motto:  "You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?" which is totally appropriate for this situation... so here we are.  jumping in at 10 weeks.

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, {uh, most weeks} in 2013."  

especially since i'm still on maternity leave from client shooting, i've really enjoyed getting out my "real" camera again, instead of just iphone snaps, and giving my family some of the photo-love attention that i give to my clients. we'll see how this goes.  some weeks might be portraits, some weeks might be more of a photo essay like deb's... my goal is just to re-commit to taking photos of my family the way i used to... 

anyone else doing a similar photo project? would love to see/hear about it.

xxo

 

HEY, YOU. STOP GROWING UP SO FAST.

hey, you. stop growing up so fast.

it's been 7 months since i last posted photos of you. though i take them quite frequently, i hardly have time to blog them.  but such is the pace of life today... with three, especially with you and your sister both being so young. life has been whirling by-- whirling! -- i can't stand it -- days whizzing by like bullets and me, observing all that you are and have become and i can't even believe my luck to get to be your mama.

sometimes, when i look at photos of you after you are asleep, my heart breaks into crackling fissures for all the new discoveries i find there in the photos, for fear that i missed them during the day when i was actually with you.  and then i will go and peer into your crib, see your rump in the air, knees tucked beneath you, and i'll reach down, squeeze your plump, squishy fingers with my finger tips, or rub your sack-o-potatoes back...

and for just a second, i'll be sad... sad in that my-heart's-so-full, motherly kind of way, sad that trying to take in all the details of your uniqueness and specialness is like trying to observe all of the stars-- you're bound to miss some. there's just So Much Good Stuff, and life is so full, and so fast, and i can't keep up, and there's three of you now, and, and, and..

I'm trying to absorb, to be present, and mirror back to you all that you are, and all the countless ways that i see you deeply and am on this ride with you, right here, right here with you.

so forgive me, little one, if i miss something.

now, you are talking. babbling, really, listening to your own voice, but i like to think that the other day in the crib you said your first word:  Mama.

MVI 7939 KEATS BABBLING from charleystar on Vimeo.

you are standing up really well on your own and attempted one (unassisted) step. your first. but you are making tracks down the hallway with your walker.

you grab everything. everything!  out of drawers. off tables. glasses off faces. anything you can get your hands on, you want to touch it, feel it, throw it, and sometimes even still, taste it.

you love to explore and you are superfast. and strong! and sometimes, when you're frustrated, you'll just THROW yourself in adorable exasperation, face down, onto the floor, palms slapping against the hardwood.

here you are lately:

your chubby cheeks and sometimes crazy eyebrow:

the wisps of your hair, which flare out on the sides:

your triumphant moves:

gleaming in the sun, that hair, again: 

your strawberry patch birthmark, about to be covered for good by your growing hair until at some future point you might decide to shave your head...

your smirk. the way your toe looks looks like a "thumbs up" symbol:

getting into, under, and behind everything:

and those eyes, which just kill me everytime...

your little chicklet teeth, which came in early at 4 months and have been non-stop ever since...

grabbing everything down,

pulling everything out:

your sweet li'l birthday suit:

(your dad thinks your smile is like Calvin's from Calvin and Hobbes, so we got out the book to compare.)

i love you, keats. every day. for the rest of my life. and then some.

thank you for coming into our family.

 

xxo

 

Life Lessons from a Toddler

As I am striving to slow down, be present and soak in all of this time with my Littles, I find that I'm at my best when I follow her lead... when I stop the whirlwind of To-Do lists and mental clutter, and just be present.  My toddler does this so well, and everyday reminds me:

Slow down.
Be Present. 
Stop trying to do so much, but whatever you are doing, do it fully....
Then move on.
And when you are feeling overwhelmed, or tired, or 'hongy' (her word for hungry)?  

Simply grab an orange, sit on the floor, and take in the wonder outside your window.

I guarantee it will be the best moment of your day. 

xxo

KEATON, 3 MONTHS

Oh, little one, you've charmed us with your ways...

you are strong now, and you are drooling! you can flip over now and love your tummy time.

you wake up with a smile, a coo, and a laugh every morning... and i love that your happy little face is the first thing i see when i awake.

you are starting to look more and more like your daddy. i think he's pretty stoked about that, and with your handsome li'l face who can blame him?

your sisters absolutely adore you, as do i.  although navia doesn't know the strength of her hugs, and she's made you cry more than a few times with her, um, love pats. sorry about that.  

navia has dubbed you:  "Bah-yeee" (her attempt at "buddy").  it's so cute how she says it, that we all call you that now. Bahyee.    

thank you for coming into our little family.  can't imagine me without you.

 

some self portraits of me and keats...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MY LIFE IN A INSTAGRAM (april/may)

been a while since i've gone through my IG pics... life is so full, and so superfast for everyone these days that it's hard to get the full impact of the amazingness of a life, all of these wonderful moments, except for in reflection. anyone else feel like that? like, you know it's pretty cool, this moment you're living in...  maybe it measures a 6 on a 1-10 scale.  but in reflection, it's somehow become a 10.5 moment. i dunno, maybe that's just me. but that's why i love looking back on all these pictures... so that i can more fully feel that tenderness, that sweetness, that beauty and joy of life. soak it in a little more fully... (except that my littles are growing up so fast it make me wanna cry! sniff sniff!)

i think most of these are from end of april/may, starting from when Keats came home. and if it weren't for having a camera in my back pocket (the one on my phone) i would've probably forgotten these already. sigh. thank you iphone.

hope you are having a good week!

xxo

WHY I'VE BEEN OFF THE RADAR

INTRODUCING
KEATON EDWARDS STORER
APRIL 23, 2012
9 LBS 11 OZ
 

i can't believe it's taken me this long to mention it here on the blog, but on April 23, i had the wonderful pleasure of meeting my son, Keaton. Born two weeks early, he came in a tangle of surprise, joy, calm, emergency, tears, fears, prayers, laughter and of course, love.  Doctors predicted a May 6th due date, but when the stir of contractions began on the 22nd, it wasn't long before Keats became the fourth person in our family born on the 23rd of the month. pretty cool. must be my lucky number.

so now he's here... my perfect little guy, and the final installment of the Edwards-Storer progeny.  Our family is now complete and me and the Mister couldn't be happier. We feel beyond blessed, especially after the few scares I had during this pregnancy and even during the delivery itself.  I just thank God that he is here safe, sound, and healthy.

So if you've noticed the even more sporadic posting, or if i owe you an email or a phone call, that's why. three. little. small. tiny people. living in my house. i'm still in joyfull bliss and shock i think... and incredibly behind on all things in my life that don't involve changing diapers and feeding.  

But now that I've got three kids -- including a one a half year old and a newborn... i am officially on maternity leave!  because let's face it:  three kids is no joke!  it'salottawork!  not so easy to pull late night editing sessions when you are already exhausted from all-night babythons :)    I'm not sure for how long, exactly... i'm sort of feeling my way through this... but I did clear my calendar of all weddings for 2012 and will only be accepting a very limited number of portrait and children's sessions later in the year.  

i want to be PRESENT, to slow down, to focus on my family and really cherish these next few months.

but here's the other truth: as much as i love being a mom, and as much as i feel SO MUCH HAPPIER when i'm present  in my own life (rather than exhausted and overextended), it's hard to let go of work that i love so much.  i'd be lying if i said there haven't already been countless times since maternity leave that i have been crushed to have to turn down so many amazing jobs... but i am just following my heart and trusting that this is the right move for me/my family, and that work will be there when it's time to work again.

and my goal is that during this time, i will be able to finally get around to editing and framing some of my own family photos (i feel a bit like the cobbler with no shoes: i've hardly any family photos up in my house because i've had no time to edit through them!), as well as working on the numerous personal shoots/projects that have been spinning in my head forever.

so that's it. just a heads up that it might take me a bit longer to return emails and phone calls... that you won't see too many weddings posted here for the rest of the year, but i am excited about what the future holds and how this time of transition will transform me and my photography!

In the meantime, if you would like to book a shoot please get in touch -- I do have some amazing associate photographers and I would love to help you out.

thanks and happy weekend!

xxo

my life in an Insta-gram

one of the downsides about working as a photographer, is that i hardly ever want to pull out my "big camera," (as it's become known around my house) to take photos of my own life when we're just hanging out. and isnt' that when the best photo ops occur?  as soon as that black beast is in my hands, i'm in "work" mode  and out of the moment that inspired me to want to take the photo in the first place.

thank goodness for iPhone + Instagram. 

here are some highlights from the past month or so:

- satine lost her first tooth -- and a second one 2 days later!  
- the bun in the oven is cooking away. i'm 32 weeks now.
- navia grace is 15 months, more and more engaged and alert and curious with wonder about every. single. thing. and such a sweetpea. 

are you on Instagram? come find me & say hello. my username is:  charleystar
Let's connect! 

DON'T FORGET TO DREAM // kids + family session

be quiet, and learn the whispers of your soul... 
for that's where dreams are born.

 

 

 

 

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that goes for you too, dreamer.  

for ME, too, i should say... been feelin a little out of sorts lately. 

think i need some quiet time to stare off into the mist, to listen to the silence and reconnect to those quiet stirrings inside that make me feel centered, purposeful and on track.

hopefully that's just what the weekend will bring.

hope you are enjoying your day.

xxo

 

 

May Your Naughty Also Be Nice

wishing you a wonderful holiday season, filled with family, friends and loved ones. 

Here's to good food, lots of cheer, a little bubbly, and festive outings... but even more snuggling in...  and maybe some pillow fights.

thank you to all of our clients, vendors, friends, and supporters for making this a great year!
see you in 2012!

xxo

*photo credit: erin saldana.
(thanks to erin, who second shoots many events for me. so glad to *finally* have some photos of my own family with *me* in them. a rarity.)    :) 

kid portaits // client shout out // small shop

Huh? What's that you say? Small Shop?!?

Yep, that's right. our client Sage Raval has started the most phenom art experience for kids:  Small Shop. something i wish i'd had when i was a a kid.

you see, even when i was a freshy in college trying to find my peeps in this strange new world, i'd wonder around campus feeling like the outsider i was, and then I'd spot some cool kids hangin out, and i'd think, "who are they? they're so cool and interesting looking, i wanna hang out with them. i wanna BE them... those are my peeps!"  (see, total loser-freshmen vibe, but that's seriously the way i felt.) well turns out those peeps were the art students.  the cool kids, in my book.

i never had any formal training in art -- i'm a DIY girl in that department.  but if i had one do-over or parallel life to live, i'd go to art school! Fun, right?! i'd learn how to draw and paint and do sculpture and screen printing and and and and...   i mean, doesn't everyone need to know how to draw beyond stick figures? besides, you could kill in Pictionary! 

well, now that i'm all growed up with kids of my own... it turns out i have now found my way into the visual arts through photography, and graphic design before that... but i still wish i could take formal art lessons. art is just cool. 

But ya know what's even cooler?
Private art lessons.
In your home.
For your kids! (ok, you can probably hover if you want and pick up a trick or two). But seriously, no driving? no hauling my Smalls into their car seats and fighting traffic and rushing to get back home in time for dinner? Sold already.

That's what Small Shop offers.  They will send a fine artist out to your home for individual or small-group art lessons for workshops, special events, or on-going weekly lessons. 

Small Shop was founded by our client Sage Raval. She's uber-awesome, and an amazing artist herself.  Check it out.

and so fun seeing some kids portraits by yours truly up on the site here and here.

more info here.

 

 

 

 

snuggle up

happy thanksgiving everyone!

so much to be grateful for....

hope you all are filling your bellies and spirits with warmth & love... and when the food coma sets in, that you are snuggling up with friends + loved ones.

xxo

 

sleep softly, sugarplum /// los angeles newborn photography

good night, sweet lamb, good night

 

xxo

my very own christmas elf /// {newborn photography}

home life /// the sunday sessions

sunday mornings.

snuggling in.

home life.

something about these three things together rate as one of my all time favorite things.  in the early morning light, my daughter comes crawling into bed with us, squeezing and squirming her way in between me and her dad (and now her sister, too), finding her rightful place in this family dynamic. with eyes still closed, my arms reach out and guide her into the snuggle fest.  tired as i may be, especially now with the nighttime nursing marathon, i know that these are those times... the times when memories are being formed... the times that, when they're grown, i'll remember with such sentiment that it'll bring me to tears i'll cherish it so.

and as i lay there absorbing all this amazingness that is my family -- as im sure you feel about your family -- i hugged and snuggled my daughters, and my husband, and i rejoiced in their glow, and i willed myself to open my eyes, and put my feet on the floor, and go grab my camera...

so that i wouldn't forget.

so that i wouldn't take for granted the specialness of this time:

the beginning bonds of sisterhood...

the curl of her body...

the sleepy, tired, handsome face of my husband...



the complexity of this child that i discover anew each day...

and the discoveries awaiting me in this one...


i reached for my camera so that i could fall in love again and again and again....

and could forever cherish the landscape of her face

and the joy de vivre beaming from hers....

and her dirty feet and goofy smile and her delicious heart and her pride at being a sister... and the angelic Navia who makes my heart burst from tenderness...

i reached for my camera so i could discover the new dynamic of my family... and because it was warm beneath the covers, and it was sunday morning, and the light was coming in just so....  and i knew in 2 months, or 2 years, or 2 decades, i would need to remember this particular morning on this particular day during this particular time.

xxo

 

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* T H E  S U N D A Y  S E S S I O N S *

i n t i m a t e  f a m i l y  p o r t r a i t s

N O W  B O O K I N G   A P P O I N T M E N T S  F O R   J A N U A R Y .

CALL OR EMAIL FOR DETAILS.

213. 278. 9656 /// hello@charleystarphoto.com

a dream /// raval family portrait session

 

*

sometimes
you just get it right.

sage + manish get it right.

the love
the fun
the perfect-together-ness
the kids
the life
the music, the art
the heart
the dream...

xxo

why i love my job.

some people, you just click with.
some days, you're just on your game.
and some days, the stars collide, and magic happens on a shoot.

it's the third element, almost, where something else takes over beyond your logical mind.  it's like in acting (my first career), when you are no longer conscious of the fact that you are you, the actor, or even you, the character.  you just ARE. you're there, and you're there on the stage or in the scene in the moment, living a life.  It's a fleeting feeling, and one that actors constantly chase for it's exhilaration and effectiveness in performance.  It's simultaneously total abandonment, and yet, whole-hearted present-ness.

i am still chasing this feeling. sometimes through spiritual realms, sometimes through my daughter, or laughter, or my husband or friendships. but mostly, through some sort of art or creativity on my part.   and since photography has been my primary tool of late, it is now primarily through photography. The actress Juliette Binoche, i believe it was, was once asked how it was that she was able to so convincingly and movingly play her role.  She said (and i paraphrase), "It's not me. It's as if, something comes through me. My job is just to allow it." A voice teacher drilled into me, "Get out of your own way!" Another: "Stop holding on to it, Megan! ("it" being the thought/feeling)... all incredible credos not only for acting, but for any artistic endeavor, and most importantly, for life in general.  Get out of your own way. Stop holding on. Live in the moment. ... and when the muse strikes, allow it.

On the day I shot Samantha and her lovely mom, Tiffany, i think this third element, this muse, was at play.  and as much as i'd like to think that any great picture i take is all due to my own phtographic brilliance :),  i know that in fact, for me, it feels more like something moving through me. something happening in front of me... and if i'm lucky, i'm able to show up with some modicum of technical expertise to know what to do with the camera in order to record it... and then just get out of my own way so i can  truly see and nurture the magic.

On this day, the magic was called Samantha. we played, i got out of my own way, and this is what we created...

 

see the full slideshow here.

thanks tiffany and samantha.

xxo,

charley*star

learning to see.

Satine with Ball

my life has been so unbalanced lately, no rest time, no rejuvenation time, no reflection time.  i feel i've stopped seeing, i've stopped soaking in the moments. work has been great and steady, which i'm grateful for, but has completely taken over my life -- not just my work time, but what former downtime i've had.. for this and other reasons, myself and my marriage has taken a hit.  we've had no time for each other. i've had no time for myself.  we're stressed and overworked.  we have to take time to care for ourselves and each other. 

it's been hard, but we are finding our way and stepping forward with a new understanding, a new gentleness, a better care, and a stronger vision. the balance is coming... but when i am in that space sometimes, in the rapture + struggle of my drama, i will happen upon a moment that stops me in my tracks, that breaks my internal boiling reverie (which is where i've been lately, churning it over, working it out, holding on and getting hard and sinking into a space i didn't really want to be but couldn't find the way out when there are other parties involved) and demands that i put down my baggage, tuck my sad sap story of hurt away, and choose once again to be in awe of what i have, these small treasures of living, to let it go, to take life on all of its messy wonderful intriguing complicated fronts and begin to see again, to find the richness of the moment, to trust -- in myself, in the moment, in each other, to trust that all this internal churning i've been doing lately is a sort of spiritual skin-shedding, a re-processing, a way to keep equilibrium, and Authenticity.

breathe deep, and the moment will save you. if i truly see, if i really discover, and awaken to that one small moment of wonder and awe right in front of me.... everything unnecessary  melts away and all i am left with is all that i need. not the anger. not the stress. not the hurt. it can change my perspective in an instant, and i can reconstruct my story. it's like i've learned to see again. satine is the one thing to always do this for me, to lead me back to the path...

(the image above is from a new Satine series i'm working on.)

and this, the brilliance of bedtime now:  she tells me stories, every night, after i read to her.

here, a monster burps up a little girl.

Download 20090916_8 47 PM_satine tells story once upon a time monster burps lil girl

and here, satine sings in the bath.

Download 20090925 200446_satine sings in bath

this makes me happy.

this little gem of love was pure preciousness to soothe my soul today...
thank you, luke prins flexner + welcome to the world!  xxo

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{newborn shoots are one of my faves (!) and are best done within the first week. so if you're a preggy momma wanting to have photos taken when your li'l nugget is born, contact me to pencil in your date.  :)   }

43 years.

and counting....
thanks mom + dad!  .....

                        happy anniversary!

                                                   

xxo

*                 

my parents got married in 1965.
they were young.
20. 29.
he loved her.
she loved him.
simple.
done.

                       

what's to wait for when you're the one?

note on back

they'd been married one year. new love. it's hard to imagine our parents like this, goofy in knee-buckling love, but i can imagine mine. their love was evident, all through my childhood.  i imagine this time to be one of their most carefree, and happiest.  newly adult and together in the world, 1st home, feeling good, before kids.  they were any young newlywed, with their whole lives ahead of them...

and from this state, sprang 43 years.   they are still together, still going strong, still in love. last time i was home they kissed so much i found myself blushing.  but that's not to say it was all peaches n cream.  growing up, we had some doozies.  fighting and screaming, doors slamming and people leaving to blow off steam. 

i've had my own share of those doozies. fights with my husband that leave my shaking and vulnerable, where you're both tired or stressed and someone says a wrong thing, a word gets twisted or comes out twisted, and you're both charging to be right or understood or adored...    or to get the other person to peer out from your side of the mountain but they won't see the world from your view... and you go from precious-intimate-loving-security- to what-happened-and-who-are-you-oh-you're-my-enemy-insecurity....    those kind of fights. they're rare, sure... but one or two of these can leave you wilted, even if infrequent.

as a child, i hated to see my parents fight. as all kids do.  it was awful.  and again, not that they did it all the time, but as a kid, this kinda stuff is really upsetting. so they'd fight. dad'd leave the house for however long, a few hours, and i remember wondering if he was going to come back. which my mom never seemed concerned about because she knew he would, this was nothing, nothing finite, just two people learning how... to merge... with each other.

and to not run.

to not give up.

to turn,

slowly,

into the void,

and say:  I DO.

TO YOU.

I AM YOURS.
ALWAYS.
FOREVER.

                                       

Love Me,
                                               
                                                        Please,
                                                               
                                                                    Love Me.

*     *     *     *     *

thanks, mom + dad, for showing me the way. 
the road to another's heart is beautiful beautiful beautiful...
i love you love you love you...

the case for larger families

families come in all shapes and sizes these days.  but here's an interesting article for anyone who has, or is considering having, a large family.  check it out here.
nahch and i always dreamed three was our magic number, but some days i don't even know how i would do it with two, let alone five or more children! but i sure do think it would be fun. hard work, yes, (especially considering we're not all brangelina with tons of hired help) but so very rewarding! so hats off to all the mammas (and pappas) out there like jen and anyone else who has a large brood and is (according to the article) breeding better citizens!

so fun, in fact, that i would love to offer a free photo session to the first family in the greater Los Angeles area with five or more children that contact me.  so leave a comment if that's you, or forward this post to anyone whom you wish to nominate!  :)

xxo.
charley